Your Growth Is Not Late: The Truth About Success for Women Entrepreneurs

All of us, even the woman who has achieved the greatest of successes in societal terms, sometimes experience the feeling of “not being as far along” in our professional lives, personal goals and romantic relationships in comparison to the women around us. Even though we have made some progress, women today continue to face pressure to compare themselves to others, as social media and networking groups showcase success markers everywhere, portraying life as a race with a fixed start and endpoint. Yet, the combination of real-life experiences, testimonies, and research studies shows that every life path follows a complex and individualized route.

Let’s consider the journey of Alexis, a colleague of mine who is a woman in her forties who showed all the signs of professional and personal success according to societal norms. But as she began to observe friends achieve business and relationship milestones that she had not yet reached (nor did she even really know if she wanted to), she started to feel a bit insecure about her life path. The weight of social comparison, combined with her own beliefs about success at different life stages, became extremely overwhelming. Her experience demonstrates the deep, yet natural, complexity of genuine personal development.

Here, I believe the metaphor of a growing garden can be a powerful symbol for how we are meant to view ourselves among other women, other business owners, other founders. A garden that receives proper care will have flowers that bloom at different points in time. The lily, for example, is known to bloom quickly, becoming a sight to see in early sunlight, whereas the peony requires extended underground development before it reveals its natural beauty. The point here, though, is that the garden benefits from both flowers because they add distinct colors and textures during their specific seasons. Every person develops at their own pace, so achievements or successes should not be restricted to these “made-up” timeframes. The belief that someone is behind schedule overlooks the impact of multiple environmental and psychological factors on development.

A healthy perspective of oneself and others requires female entrepreneurs to separate self-worth from external indicators of success, recognizing that people often experience feelings of inadequacy when comparing their inner doubts to the seemingly perfect moments others present. Research shows that people who practice self-compassion instead of self-criticism develop better resilience and maintain long-term well-being. 

The woman who feels the weight of being “behind” in business or within her personal life should try these evidence-based strategies:

• Perform a values-based self-assessment that looks beyond external achievements to acknowledge the unrecognizable accomplishments that are taking place, like consistent self-advocacy, receiving therapy services, or maintaining integrity during challenging work-related scenarios. These achievements represent significant personal development and should be acknowledged.
• The process of redefining your season requires you to understand which stage you currently find yourself in, whether in a season of fast growth, deliberate waiting, or deep learning. Similar to how a  gardener trusts dormant bulbs beneath winter soil, sometimes redefining hidden periods as seasons of rest and transitions can help you create the emotional and mental space needed for future growth and development.
• Allow envy to transform into curiosity, as it can help reveal your hidden desires. The feelings of envy you experience should guide you toward understanding what specific value or aspiration the other person's story has brought to light for you. Use these insights to create goals that align with your personal values and circumstances, all while maintaining compassion towards yourself.
• Create a network of people who understand how success unfolds differently for everyone. People who understand the non-linear path to success should be your priority for building both professional and personal relationships. Other women who understand your situation will offer valuable guidance and reassurance when traditional expectations about timing fail to apply. 

Alexis achieved her transformation by deciding to redefine her personal success, rather than waiting for a predetermined endpoint. Through her self-paced journey, she found genuine fulfillment that matched her individual path.

So if you are like Alexis, doubting your timing, know that your path follows the natural growth pattern of the most beautiful of gardens. Your path is developing through changes that you have not yet noticed. Your personal life path follows its own unique vine, which leads to growth that becomes the root of your future self.